these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
