billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
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