It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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