it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Randomize
