All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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