I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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