i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
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