:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
