i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
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