youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
