i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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