my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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