Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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