if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
she looked like the before picture.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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