Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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