Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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