shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
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