you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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