i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
a search helicopter?!
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
