i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
