Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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