I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
This is the prime rib incident all over again
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
