I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
