We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
