Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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