i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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