I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
My vagina just clenched in fear
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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