i permit you to call me
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
