i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
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