drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
