dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize