he thought i was a dude.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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