summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
You can't just leave with hair like that
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
