He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Say something about gay babies.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
