No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
