i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
