Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
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