if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
