In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Randomize
