I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
