Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
