Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
