I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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