Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
