Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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