A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
