There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just blew my weed a kiss
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize