pop tarts are not kleenex
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize