I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
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When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
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