Dude i fell asleep inside of her
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
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I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
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I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him