"it" just moved
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint