some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Randomize