i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
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Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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