It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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