he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Randomize
