went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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