we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
